Oldie but Goodie

This woman would be well served to cancel her life-insurance policy.

Worst. Movie. Ever.

Hard Candy. Who'd have ever thought a movie could leave you wishing that a murderous pedophile would beat the sh-t out of a 14-year old girl? Sounds horrible, I know, but watch the movie and I swear you'll understand.

Typo No-No

This is so my kind of crime. Two men, both 28, have been sentenced to a year's probation and restitution for correcting typos on signs in national parks.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/22/sign.vandals.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

George Obama

Meet Barack's half brother, George Obama, who lives in Nairobi:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/08/22/bts.obama.brother/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Two For Your Queue

Boy A. One of the best movies I've seen in a while...



Control. For all you Joy Division fans...



Hmmmm I'm starting to think I might have a thing for screwed up skinny british boys...

Get your sh*t together D!

D'Angelo: What the Hell Happened?

Maybe Someone Should Tell People...

That it's a really bad idea to swim in tropical storms?

From The Daily News:

Tropical Storm Fay kills Brooklyn woman swimming in Florida

BY MIKE JACCARINO

Tropical Storm Fay claimed the life of a Brooklyn woman after she waded into the storm-whipped surf off Daytona Beach.

Fatmira Krkuti waded into about waist-deep water just before 2 p.m. Thursday during a lull in the storm, Volusia County Beach Patrol Capt. Scott. Petersohn said.

"Her and her husband walked out ... and at that point the people that witnessed what happened said they were hit by a huge wave and knocked off their feet and swept out farther away from the shoreline," Petersohn said.

"The husband made it back to where he could stand up. She disappeared."

Beach patrol officers recovered Krkuti's body about 10 minutes later some 75 feet north of where she had entered the water.

Meanwhile, Fay hovered over Florida for a fifth day Friday, whipping the northwest portion of the state with 45 mile per hour winds.
Six people have died in Florida from storm-related causes - three in traffic accidents, two from downing and one man from carbon monoxide poisoning while testing generators before the storm.

Dark Horse

Some recent murmurings suggest that Rep. Chet Edwards of Texas may be a surprise V.P. contender? Who knows at this point.

Reason #2

To watch Generation Kill--Rudy Reyes.
Picture from IMDB.com

I Can Has Cheezburger...DC-Style

Standback LOLCats, we now have LOLiticians at www.icanhasurvote.com. For those who know me, you realize that this discovery marks a very important day for me...

This one's for you, Boob.

The Next Day, Your Owt

If Rachel Dratch and Chris Kattan had a baby, it'd probably look a lot like Project Runway's Daniel Feld. But hopefully it wouldn't cry as much and be such a piss-poor designer.

Nice Catch

Stock in Barbie's fishing line just went way up. Pictured below: a North Carolina man holding a state-record breaking fish that he caught using his daughter's pink Barbie fishing pole. The pair promptly returned home and ate the fish.

Just Because

Kim Vo

It's about damn time!

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

A brain fart I can relate to...

I mean, I don't have a lot of houses (I don't think I even have one, actually--but I'm gonna have to double check with my staff before I can say for certain), but I'm just saying that I can understand how John McCain might lose track of the number of homes he owns.

If you read this article, take a look at Cindy's wrist bandage. Seriously? That's from a vigorous handshake?

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12685.html


Photo by Jake Turcotte











Hear Barack Obama's response:

Kite surfer takes on Tropical Storm Fay...

and guess who wins?!

Apparently huffing makes you feel light-footed

...not to mention light-headed. Jesus.

Bits

Caption contest winner from my friends at Dontpry.com:

Sour Cream

For anyone who has ever wondered how their dipsh-t boss managed to rise to a position of power (not me!), there is a new theory on the subject. According to Laurence J. Peter, a professor of education at the University of Southern California:

"In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence; the cream rises until it sours."

As explained by the author of the article I read, "people who show competence are promoted whether or not they are qualified to perform competently at the next level. Eventually they go beyond their limits, become incompetent, and stop getting promoted. Macbeth, a success as a military commander, rose to become an incompetent king. Which is to say, "nothing fails like success."

Read more about this theory, coined as the "Peter Principle," here.

For-Leighf Clover

Swing Voter

"Sure, I like that Obama makes people feel optimistic and willing to give, but if I really liked that, I'd have a better attitude toward Scientologists. The truth is, I like Obama because he's young and eats arugula and knows who Ludacris is. Because he's the closest thing to the person I'd really like to vote for: me."

Read the full article by Joel Stein in the August edition of TIME:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1830395,00.html

Baby Bear is 27!

YOWSA!!!

No Way!

Brace yourselves--the Bigfoot story that's been topping news headlines for the past week? It's a hoax. The guys were running a Bigfoot-adventure outfitting company, getting rich from other Bigfoot enthusiasts (<---one question: why?). Anyways, the "hunters" also sold the rights to their story for "Searching for Bigfoot, Inc." (no joke), and now the pair has gone missing. One of the two dipshots was a Clayton County police officer, who has then since been terminated and called a "disgrace."

I would like to talk about what idiots these guys are, but I think it turns out that they're actually the brains in this scenario...

Reason # 1

To watch Generation Kill--Alexsander Skarsgard. If there was a movie about T.Bone Smith in Iraq, he's who I would cast to play him.

L.A. Weener Recommends...

The Foot Fist Way. She sent this to me in the mail this week and it is awesome. It is starring Danny McBride, who is also featured in Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express.

I hope your hair literally turns into sh-t, so when you pull your comb through it, there's bits of sh-t stuck to the comb.

Intelligent design, in the flesh.

Baby Blues

A premie baby girl, who was born weighing just a pound and a half, was declared dead and put in a morgue refrigerator. Six days later when the parents went to the morgue to collect the behbehs teeny body, they found that the little one had a heartbeat and was still breathing, but unfortch died shortly thereafter : (

Pretty serious f@#k up.

http://news.aol.com/article/baby-dies-a-second-time-in-israel/138409

On Tonight

Chicago man sues restaurant for 9-ft tapeworm

That's as long as the deep end in a private pool--VOM.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/19/tapeworm.suit.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Beast!

Ha-who is this mammoth? (p.s., way to rock the cozy casual, Reese! A woman after my own heart...)

Untitled

I feel like there is a lot to like about this video if you play it with sound.

I wish I could go there...

A 2008 Harris poll lists the most desired vacation destinations of American's when asked where they would most like to travel outside of the U.S. if money was no object.

1. Italy

2. Australia

3. Great Britain (England, Scotland and Wales)

4. France

5. Ireland

6. Greece

7. Japan

8. Germany

9. Canada

10. Spain

11. New Zealand

12. Switzerland

13. Mexico

14. Bahamas

15. Jamaica

True Story: Handi-capableTurtle Makes Sexy Time

The turtle pictured above, left, is named Arava and she lives in the Jerusalem Biblical Zoo (srsly). Her back legs were paralyzed, so some peeps fashioned her a custom made skateboard that velcroes onto her shell. Since regaining mobility, it has been said that this little tart has been making sexy times with turtle men.

MORE

You can't help but laugh...

My mom sent me this video today, and I gotta admit, it's pretty funny.

My New Obsesh

Scottish Folds...YESAHHHH!

We Like Ike

Good way to fool your friends (gotta watch til the end):

http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=4uXC218KYU02M51C92sY

No Innuendo Here...

Seriously, this post is a shout out to my weener--you know who you are! Thanks for the card and the flick, you are the greatest and I love you!

Talk About Knowing Your Audience...

I saw this poster while I was riding the metro yesterday, and to my sheer delight, I was able to find a copy online to share with you. This is an ad for recruiting computer scientists.


In case you have trouble reading it, the caption states "This is what Jeremiah does in his spare time. Imagine what he does at work!"

Allow me to make a few deft observations:

1. The guy's name is "Jeremiah".
2. He has a pony tail.
3. He is wearing a robe.
4. He has a sword.
5. He is in the middle of the woods.
6. He is a computer scientist.
7. He is a ginger.

What happened to the Cone!!???

For anyone who wasn't paying attention this weekend, John McCain and Barack Obama were each interviewed by bestselling author and Evangelical mega-church pastor Rick Warren at Saddleback Church on Saturday. The deal was this, both candidates would be asked identical questions, but they would be interviewed one at a time and the candidate in waiting would be kept in a "Cone of Silence" to prevent him from hearing the questions.

After watching it, I have to say that Obama was squirmy and a bit uneasy, while McCain was very much in his element and actually somewhat charming (although I should note that, personally, I am resistant to his charms).

Anyways, on to the good stuff...of course we knew this event couldn't go down with out some sort of fall out. And lo and behold, it turns out that McCain, who was interviewed second, was not actually kept in a "Cone of Silence" after all. Instead, he awaited his turn from his motorcade. This means that the honor code is the only guarantee we have that McCain did not listen to the questions beforehand. Upon this discovery, Obama's camp of course made note of this in the media, and McCain's camp responded with disgust at the accusations. What do you think?

More here: http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2008/08/18/mccain-cone-of-silence-or-no-cone-of-silence/

G'Day, Uglies!

The mayor of Mount Isa in Australia, which suffers from a shortage of lay-dees, sparked some recent controversy by suggesting that unattractive women should consider moving to the lonely mining town.

Commenting to a local newspaper, the Mayor said "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa. [...] Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face," he continued. "Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness."

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/08/18/australia.ugly.women.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Pool

This was taken at a swimming pool in China a few weeks ago. There is no day hot enough for this sh-t. Holy anxiety attack.

Yikes

A bike wreck earlier this summer in a border town in Mexico...