It Just Keeps Gettin' Better

Man, oh man...while Sarah Palin was praying with her Pentecostal church for a $30 billion dollar natural gas pipe in Alaska, I was praying for a VP candidate like Sarah Palin to fill the void in my life that Brit Brit left when she went and got her shit together.

Today I learned that Palin

• was a member of a state party that supports secession (significant because secession would allow Alaska to DRILL DRILL DRILL--and because it's not very patriotic);
• had part ownership of a car wash that she failed to declare on some required gubernatorial forms, and she also had stake in a failed startup named "Rouge Cou" (or literally, "Red Neck" in French);
• appeared on a morning talk show where she laughed as the radio host mocked Palin's political opponent--calling her a "bitch" a "cancer" (a pun bc she was battling cancer--funny!) and making fun of her weight;
• and slashed funding for teen pregnancy programs in Alaska (in spite of the fact that she supports abstinence-only education and opposes all abortions, even in the event of rape or incest).
  

We need not even mention Palin's ethics investigation, her crafty use of earmarks, her ethic's investigation, or Bristol's pregnancy. This election.is.f-ing.awesome.